This post is a reminder to all of you who have been told you are not allowed to give up.
You are allowed to give up. You are allowed to let go. Do not continue to force something just to finish, and especially do not do this in fear of someone’s judgement in you giving up.
Giving up because of laziness is NOT parallel to giving up because you are UNHAPPY.
Genuine unhappiness is not something to “blow off.” It’s not just a phase; unfortunately, if you continue doing whatever it is causing this unhappiness, you will just dig yourself into a deeper hole.
Newsflash: everything can be tried and tried again. And if it can’t, it is not meant for you.
I let myself fail a class, and no, I do not regret it.
I let myself “give up,” for the semester, on one subject. And no, I am not in a rush nor do I care about the grade. My main focus is my mental health, and it was being destroyed by this schedule and classwork. I let myself give up as a stepping stone towards my own happiness. I let myself give up out of my own stability and mental state, not out of laziness. There is a difference. Giving up because of your mental state is not the same as giving up because you’re lazy. Know that. // One thing I did TOTALLY wrong my first semester of college was to let it affect me to the point of MAJOR depression. I’m talking MONTHS and MONTHS of such a deep unhappiness that I had to give it up altogether. Because of this, I learned the hard way that college is NOT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE! DO NOT LET IT BECOME THAT WAY. //
Yes, I do vow to try again. Yes, it does pain me to know I am ruining my 4.0. But, the amount of emotional stress I was under pained me a whole lot more.
It is so vital to your mental health to listen to your cues. Why are you unhappy? What’s changed, what’s not changing?
There’s a few things you need to know about life:
- Everyone will want you to become a handful of certain things. A doctor, a nurse, a teacher, a police officer, or someone who works a 9-5 at a desk job.
- One of these things may pertain to you. You may aspire to become one. Maybe for the career, maybe for the money. None might be for you, too. And note that it’s 100% OKAY if none do.
Just because you are NOT becoming one of these things, or just because you are happy with what you’re doing, does NOT mean you will not be successful. I do not aspire to be any one of these things. I adore my job. I work so damn hard at my job. I get compliments and references. I applied for a promotion and already have an interview. I want to level myself up in my position now, and although I am attending school at the same time, it does not mean it will change my view on my career choices. And, guess what? You love what you do? Good. Continue doing it. Build a lifestyle out of it. Save. Buy. Sell. Create. DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU HAVE TO DO TO SATISFY YOUR CALLING. We do not have all the same calling. Stop following someone else’s journey and trying to make it yours. That is something you will undeniably fail at. If it’s not you, it’s not your journey.
It’s SO okay to allow yourself to fail. In my situation, I allowed myself to fail because of the eternal stress brewing. I work full-time in an autistic classroom, then come home and teach myself a class and do homework all night. It’s a lot of work, and when you can’t get yourself to understand something after two weeks, it’s time to ask for help! But, when I personally went for help, it was useless. And at that point, it set me off because I waited for help, went for help, and got no help. On top of this, I’m already having a very challenging school year so I’m constantly exhausted. I have straight A’s in my other three classes, and they’re SUPER easy for me, but this one class caused me so much emotional stress that I never felt myself. I felt like a robot with no time for me or my loved ones. It had to be stopped; until my schedule gets easier, at least. Most people have the luxury to not have to work full-time (especially at a laborious job) whilst going to college full-time, and I am totally jealous of those who don’t have the schedule I have. At the same time, though, I would not change my lifestyle for the world. I am doing what I love, aside my love, and building my own opportunity each day. I am not rushing my present for my future, because in reality, your future is based off of your today. Don’t waste your today waiting on a tomorrow.
I’ve truly noticed that, in all of our lives, we spend so much time just COMPLAINING. Instead of fixing an issue, or allowing ourselves to fail for once, we sit and complain. We, basically, just sit and waste time.
We also spend loads of hours comparing.. waiting.. wishing. I’ve recognized more people rushing to finish than worrying about the process or journey at all. I’ve noticed friends and classmates lose their passions and their spontaneity. There’s no more balance, because our generation just wants to rush and have money.
Well, you know what? I let myself fail, and that’s okay. Mental illness is NO joke. If you are rushing because you want money in your pocket, all in all, that’s your personal decision. If you are conscious about your mental health and you are allowing yourself to give up, not because of laziness, but for well-being; I solute you.
Listen: life is what YOU make it. It will turn out as good or as bad as you want it. Personally, Jordan and I have a set plan to move down south when we decide to get our first house. We both have aspirations. We both have goals. But, we are NOT rushing. We have been through too many hardships as individuals and as a couple to rush to the finish line any longer. You MUST have a balance. A balance of goal-setting vs. goal-obsessing. Our balance entails us working hard, but enjoying even harder. Our balance entails us to not obsess over our goals, but to quietly work toward them and build up from the ground. We do not aspire to be millionaires with an 8-bedroom house. Our plan is a lot different than most peoples’, and that’s our reality to worry about.
[ALL images from Pinterest]
“I know that happiness is stability, but stability is NOT a desk job. [And] I refuse to sacrifice my aspirations for an income and security.”
Keep smiling. You got this. 💛 A + J 🌻